It doesn't hurt anymore

       Loss has always bipolar consequences: negative and positive. Of course, the negative side is what we experience first. It implies usually sufferance, regret, remorse, blame, crying and other manifestations of this sad event, meaning losing somebody. I refer here, both on break up and departure from this world. The positive side will be understood just after the pain is gone and the person is healed. In that moment can appear the revelation of the beneficial consequences, I mean all the things what that distress taught and revealed about life and the subject's personality.
      Losing a beloved person forever is the worst what can happen, most of the people it experiences it as a tragedy. This is a theme what I still feel a blind alley, I have my way to deal with death, but I don't think that this is a subject I want to amplify. Grief is very personal, different for everybody, but believing that existence is something eternal and constant and death is just the passing to another level of it, can help to let go and transform grief in preservation of the beloved's memory.
      Losing the centre of one's life, interest and existence is different story. However everybody should consider himself or herself lucky if he/she found at least once the person who became the centre of his/her life. I feel also grateful for this, because I had the privilege to find love for a quite long time. However, I feel also lucky and grateful that I was able to let him go, in fact that I was able to realize that the relationship had to end when the right time came for that. After a blissful time spent together, I can say that I remained not just with many beautiful memories, but also with many lessons.
       Every separation, indifferently if it was friendly or not, should result a redefinition of goals and dreams. At least it was like this in my case, and actually it was a process which started already when the relationship wasn't finished yet. However, losing the person on who I had focused all my attention, around who I tried to organize all my plans, was complicated, because I had to fight with myself, with that side of me who was living in a detached world, not willing to see reality. But this was the right way, I realized it with quite long time after that. I had to fight my inner war, and I won it. After the pain was gone, there weren't remorse or blames, I understood how beneficial was that person in my life, and his important role in my self-improvement. I had to realize all the mistakes I did, all the faults I had, without blaming him for more than he was responsible. and this conciousness made me to want to change...and I changed, almost in every aspect I feel that things got better, and the most important, I got "better".
      In the moment when someone can admit "It doesn't hurt any more" the miracle will happen. It is like a liberation from guilt, false hopes, accusations and sadness. The most important lesson for every girl could be that we don't need a man to be our life, but we need a man who completes our life. But until that person will appear our existence will be more than fine with our goals and dreams, working for them, trying to fulfil them.
        Life can be so much interesting, surprising, magical and funny, if we let it to be so. Some lessons made me aware of this, which key thoughts I will preserve in this post:
SMILE AS MUCH YOU CAN.
BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING.
BANISH SADNESS WHENEVER APPEARS.
APPRECIATE EVERY PERSON WHO ENTERS IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE A ROLE IN IT.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT, BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT ENDS.
PATIENCE IS A POWER AND HELPS TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS.
KINDNESS DOESN'T COST NOTHING BUT IT CAN MEAN VERY MUCH FOR THOSE WHO RECEIVE IT.
...
(this list will be completed whenever I get a new lesson)

Wonderful good morning

     In all this time I was absent from my blog, I missed to write, but I knew that the inspiration must come. I thought that a great event, or a great person will be the launching force of my creativity. I felt very often in the last months that I have so many things to say and to share, but somehow something stopped me from sitting down and put in words what I feel. Even the attempts to immortalize the events or feelings in my journal were few and kind of useless.
     But now, here I am, in a regular Tuesday morning, starting what I'm planning for almost a month, from the time I got home and I decided that I will change my life. There is no great event, no great person, just the desire to accomplish and put in practice all the motivational things I read, saw and I was taught, because without practice they don't have value. As soon as I decided to pass on the nex level and practice all for what I say "Life is worthy to live" inspiration just bumped into my mind. It was enough just a great, positive start of a beautiful morning. The greeting of the the morning with a motivating meditation, which brought the missing sunshine into the dark winter dawn, in combination with an energizing yoga session is my perfect recipe for this morning.
    A good start is the key to a great day, and I'm sure that all the things I want to do today will go smoothly and at the end of the day I can go to bed pleased. This fulfillment will be completed by some new posts in this blog, as I have so many things to share and to transmit.

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY FILLED WITH POSITIVE AND PEACEFUL THOUGHTS, BECAUSE THEY HAVE UNIMAGINABLE CREATIVE AND MATERIALIZING POWER.

  

Some people deserve what they got

Hello

I want to write about lies and liars because in the last time I had a revelation of a series of lies which outraged me and even though this didn't leave any harms in my life I just can't let unexpressed my impressions regarding this.

The biggest disappointment can be caused by people from who we expect the least the inappropriate comportment or attitude. I should have had the intuition that there is something wrong with somebody who is considered a person with the best intentions and sentiments by everybody around him. That is quite unreal nowadays. After I found out some events from his life which I considered very tough and I would never forgive or pass over what another person did to him, but he did and reacted very good, I started to get convinced that actually he is really a good person.

I don't want to overcharge this post with more details, so you will have to believe me that he played very authentically the role of a good, caring, patient and kind man. However this theater didn't last long and after a few suspect signs I wanted explanations and asked for concrete decisions. This was my test and he totally failed it. I knew that if he was honest than I will get some logic explanation and things will get better, but if my suspicions were right than he will give me some vague answer and leave. The disappointment started from here as he wasn't able even to invent something and got very confused with my demand. All my interest was gone, and later on he lost any respect and consideration I had for him.

The only thing what I would appreciate in him now is the acting talent, because he was able to create and maintain the image of a quiet, nice and good person, when actually he has no character, principles and courage to assume his faults and wishes. I didn't realize why he avoided me even when we were obliged to stay nearby each other as I never wished to speak with him anymore and I didn't really had resentments for him. Just a few days ago I found out the truth and understood how coward he is and what a weak personality with lack of honesty he has. In that moment my rage was awakened as I never deserved to be lied by a person who got the worst from another woman. He deserved all what he got and what he will get from the same person in the future.

Discovering a new favourite writer-Isabel Allende

I'm choosing carefully my favorite writers, and I prefer usually to read several works before listing him/her as one of my favorites, but it seems that I just picked up the right novel from Isabel Allende. However, I'm sure that very soon i will read more from her works as with the first one my attention was captivated and I can state that she is a great novelist. This feminist writer is from Chile, but living nowadays in California, had an interesting and adventurous life, she is a wife, mother, grandmother, friend and last but not least a successful, bestselling author. According to her, in every novel she is exploring a part of herself, in every story lies something more or less from her life or her personality.

I have just finished her novel entitled 'The Sum of Our Days' and it had a great impact on me. Isabel Allende has the gift to tell some facts which will become personal for the reader, will make him/her to think, to see life with different eyes and to be more grateful for what he/she has. This impressive memoir presents her family, each member having a very complex personality, sometimes even scandalous, though they are a great team, a 'tribe', as the writer defines it.
The narrative is very vivacious, giving an insight to the sorrows and joys of this unique family. It presents different moments of their lives, being very much concentrated on the pain of losing the beloved Paula, Isabel's daughter, to whom she is addressing directly in the novel very often. Sometimes it seems as a letter to Paula, telling what happened after her departure.

'The Sum of Our Days' is not a good memoir to read, it is an example of how to go on in life after a big loss, how to remember and have the memory of the beloved dead person with you every day without feeling pain, but acceptance, it is an experience of life. She writes about love, death, spiritualism, drug addiction and other aspects of life without making judgement, but making to reflect. Reading this novel wasn't just a lecture, it was an experience, and my next acquisition will be Isabel's novel 'Paula', written in the memory of her dead daughter, because I'm sure that she has very much more to offer with every novel, and especially with the memoir of her daughter.

A captivating novel - The Aviary Gate

      I read this novel two years ago, after I discovered it in the small town-library from Beaconsfield. It catches my eyes and as I saw in the short presentation from the cover of the book that it is based on Oriental historical events, I took it immediately. It was a very good decision, because even after two years I consider it a great book, and I recommend it. One of my friends mentioned that she is reading it and it is a wonderful lecture, so I decided to write down some ideas, because it would be a waste to lose them.
      The novel is structured in two stories, on different temporal, spacial levels and of different cultural backgrounds. It gives an insight to the exotic and mysterious world of the sultan's harem in Istanbul from the year 1599, but also in the dilemmas of the modern life in England. Both stories are built around two female characters, who lived in different epochs, different cultures, one represents the woman of the past and the other is the example of the contemporary woman,  and had totally different fates, but the narrative brings their lives very close at a certain moment.
      Reading this novel is like a constant travel in time. The temporal contrast is very well accentuated by the two women, Celia and Elisabeth. Curiously, their characters are not realized with the same intensity. We will discover a well-built and tragic character in Celia, but Elisabet's characterization is fade, indirect, the reader has to discover independent her personality. Celia's story dominates the narrative, Elisabet's is quite sketchy, spiced with romance.The differences won't stop here. Istanbul, the city has an important role in the lives of these women. For Celia it means slavery and she will find her tragic end there, but for Elisabeth it is a place for escape, for discovery and romance.
      After a shocking beginning, the book captivates the attention providing interesting details from the Oriental world and culture. We get a vivid picture of the seclusion of the harem, giving the impression of realism. The reader enters to a forbidden place, where almost nobody had access. It is a mysterious place webbed with intrigues, gossip, drama, hopelessness and betray.
      'The Aviary Gate is an impressing, captivating novel, which offers an exquisite travel in time, space and culture.

Keep smiling and love life

        I have just seen a very nice blog for decorations where I saw this title and gave me the idea for this post. It passed in my mind immediately that we don't know to love and appreciate life. With the problems and the routine of every day we miss many many sources of beauty, joy and happiness.

       We are overwhelmed by negative thoughts and the hunt after money, and we don't notice the good things life is offering us: the sunshine, the beauty of nature, the sun rise/set, a child's smile, the view of a colorful park, a funny picture or event,etc.

      Does it seem better now? After seeing these pictures I realized that it would be even better to see this kind of things in 'original', and we don't have to search too much. It is necessary to find a corner of nature or observe more the people who are passing near us and we will be amazed how many beautiful things we can discover. They are near us, just that we don't give them attention . Our problems, every day cares are taking all our energy and vitality, until we will arrive frustrated, who know just to complain and transmit negative attitude toward everything.
      This mentality is totally wrong and it is the generator of many many problems from depression to serious illnesses. Positive mentality is a therapy in itself, and combined with the appreciation of every good thing in life, it can make miracles. In place of staying in front of the TV, being frustrated and thinking how miserable is life, a walk in the fresh air, in the sunshine, enjoying the scents of nature will change the disposition.
SO LET'S TAKE THE WALKING SHOES AND START TO ENJOY NATURE AND LIFE!!!
      

Turn a page of life

Why blogging?

       There are moments in life when reasons, goals and expectations are destroyed, annihilated by our own faults, fears and frustrations. One could accept and get conformed with this situation as there are so many examples of such behavior around us, but it is not my case. It can't be as it would mean for me to comply with monotony, melancholy or maybe depression, and that is not me. I could be some years ago, when my personality was still vulnerable and needed always a support to not fade, but today I rely on myself and on the power to do something for the others, to try to be an example who admits her faults and weaknesses, but has always the strength to move on and can get up always after a fall. 

       Last year had many changes in my life, I had to experience many states and feelings which led to a point where I realized that I must stop and make an evaluation. I felt that everything what once defined me is lost, all the plans, hopes and expectations betrayed me. But I didn't lose my dreams and the energy to restart, the desire to want more. "So nothing is lost!" I said to myself, at least not something what I can't retrieve or rebuild. These 26 years I lived weren't boring or easy, I've had experienced good and bad, happiness and sadness, love and loss, success and failure, desire and rejection, and I could continue with an endless line, so I realized that I want to share many thoughts, wishes, experiences and struggles, but especially I want to save them. My personality and every feature of my character is the result of the experiences I had, of the events occurred in my life, of the relations I had with each person I entered in contact, all the feelings I have ever felt, the attitude I had toward all problems and issues and so on. I have apparently a series of things without end again, which makes me even more eager to speak, and in the same way to explore more deeply their senses and values in life.

        The desire to discover the world, but especially myself is the driver of this blog. I don't want to waste nothing more which could bring me closer to the world and which could drop me in the mysteries of my dreams, desires, feelings and passions. Life is like a running river, its flow will never go back just forward, but it depends just on us what we take with the flow, what we leave behind and how pure or how chaotic is this stream. How we live our life depends just on us, and LIFE IS WORTHY TO LIVE ON ITS HIGHEST INTENSITY. This is what I want to share with you in my blog.